Office of official clarification
Frequently raised
concerns.
For the avoidance of doubt. And follow-up comments.
What should we do instead?
One person, giving a talk, with an end time.
Are all panels really a public health crisis?
The campaign is satire. The exhaustion is not. We do not claim a medical diagnosis; we merely ask that five people not spend an hour agreeing with each other in front of witnesses.
What if the panelists are exceptionally interesting?
Then each should be permitted to finish a thought. Separately.
Does a fireside chat count?
If there is no fire, and more than two people, the committee has serious concerns. Renaming an incident does not prevent it.
What if I have already agreed to be on a panel?
You may withdraw with dignity. “I am unable to participate” is a complete sentence. A proposed replacement panel is not required.
Is this pledge legally binding?
No. It is morally binding, which is considerably harder to enforce and therefore requires no lawyers.
How is the human-hours counter calculated?
For satirical purposes, we assume three human-hours are lost every second, starting on January 1 each year. This is an invented model, not measured or researched data. The counter is a joke. Time remains real.
Will you hold a panel to discuss the results?
The proposal has been rejected unanimously, without convening a panel.