An international accord for the preservation of human attention
The Pledge
to End Panels.
A genuine conversation is a rare and precious thing.
A panel is usually neither. It is time to take a stand.
Preferably not on a stage, next to four other people.
Open to all persons with a finite lifespan.
EXHIBIT A / SCRANTON EXEMPTIONOngoing public health emergency
Hours of human life lost
to panels this year.
—,———,———
And someone is still “just adding one thing.”
Satirical estimate: 3 human-hours per second. Not measured data.
Article 01 / The declaration
We, the people
in the audience.
Recognizing that life is short, attention is sacred, and “a quick round of introductions” has never been quick.
Ratified wherever chairs face a stage.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that not every conversation needs a stage, that expertise is not multiplied by seating arrangements, and that the audience deserves to go home.
I shall decline invitations to participate in panels, even when described as “a really dynamic conversation.”
I shall not mistake the presence of a moderator for the existence of a point.
I shall defend the right of every person to hear one coherent idea, from one person, before lunch.
We recognize the rare occasion on which a genuine conversation is precisely what people came to hear. This exception shall not be invoked merely because the organizer knows five people.
Article 02 / Your commitment
Lend your name.
Not your afternoon.
A small act of refusal.
A meaningful contribution to civilization.
“I solemnly swear never to say ‘I’ll just add to what my colleague said’ or to ask a question that is actually a comment.”
I pledge to neither participate in nor organize a panel. I will choose clarity over consensus theatre. I will give the hour back.
The coalition of the unwilling